Realized last night that I think I am going through the 7 (?) stages of grieving for the foods I can't eat.
It's been over a year since this journey began, but I'm still feeling sorry for myself at times. I feel "disabled". (Do you think I can get a special pass for handicap parking?)
I watch t.v. and it's all about food; the shows, the commercials - eating out - drinking wine with friends....
I was watching a commerical - seafood restaurant... steak and shrimp. I found myself thinking "Oh, I can't wait until I can eat shrimp again!" Hello? When is that going to be? When my illness is over? What was I thinking? What a weird sensation, to have that thought in my head. And then it finally came to me - your never going to be able to eat that again! Get over it! Get on with it! Stop waiting! Stop waiting to heal from this food intolerance life! There is no cure.
I think I can identify with these:
- Shock or Disbelief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Guilt
- Depression
- Acceptance and Hope
Where am I? I think I am entering into the last stage. I have one foot into it, anyway. But I keep one foot firmly planted in depression, just in case. I go back and forth during the course of the day.
I am starting to feel better - I am going to get on with my life and quit belly-aching all the time!!! (pun intended) I have to continually remind myself that I am not facing death, that I will survive this, I can be okay within my own limitations.
At least I'm skinny and I'm healthy and most of my friends are ...not skinny. Eh, who'm I kidding? I would trade skinny for a normal eating life any day of the week.
